*pauses for disbelieving gasps of shock, and insults*
I do not adore Twilight.
*refuses to pause for slight confusion*
Have I read Harry Potter? I started, then I put the first book down, and I never picked it up again. Have I seen any of the films? Yes, the first one twice (fell asleep both times) and the third one (bored stiff the entire time. Literally). I will read the books one day, eventually. I may end up becoming a fan, but that's doubtful, seeing as I've lost 4 birthdays (including my 16th) to J.K Bloody Rowling and her bum-chum Mr. Lightening Bolt.
Have I read Twilight? Yes, and I will read the others. But it'll take a while, as I find her writing style slow, laboured, and suffering from a general lack of knowledge as to how people live their lives, along with an unimaginative vocabulary. Also, I strongly advise her to go away and write some Mills & Boon, because, when Edward and Bella are actually in the relationship she spent so long setting up, her writing style becomes energised, and flows. When she goes back to plot, it all falls flat again (I will forever give her credit for seemingly realising this when it came to writing the fight scene at the end of Twilight and therefore having the only witness loosing conciousness and remembering hardly anything about it).
Have I seen the films? Yes, I saw Twilight four times in the cinema (four separate sets of people have attempted to convert me to sparkly vampires, so I felt I owed it to them -that, and I've converted two of them to the Wonderful World of The Late, Great Gene Roddenberry). I've also just come back from seeing New Moon for the second time (I giggled the entire time, save for the occasion where I actually felt sorry for Jacob).
My team is Team Film!Charlie, or, if sticking with the book-verse, Team Hale. Jasper and Alice are wonderful. I like the characters, the actor and actress, and the back story for Alice (from the first book). From what I've heard of the back story for Jasper (I've yet to read Eclipse) I like it. I'm critical of Bella and Edward. Bella needs a bit more personality, to take her out of the 'automaton' category and into the world of humans. Edward needs to take a long hard look at the object of desire and realise that the only thing behind the pretty face is a needy lonely child. I'm trying not to be critical of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, but they're making it So. Damn. Hard not to. Neither seem aware that facial expressions are needed for emotions other than 'sad' and 'shocking despair'. Taylor Lautner has my respect. I actually felt sorry for Jacob at the end of the film, when Bella told him not to make her choose (his face imploded in response to his soul crushing). Also -the abs, the tree climbing, and the really cool CGI he got to work with didn't harm my impression of him in anyway.
(No matter how logical my arguments, how thoughtful my wordings, I will always be a living non-asexual girl).
Will I buy the DVD to this one as well? Yes. When it's very cheap, because I bought the Twilight DVD cheap too, so now I have to have the set.
Also, did I mention the wolf CGI?? The wolf CGI is win.
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